I came across the following article on NecoleBitchie.com as I was making my daily celebrity gossip blog rounds. As I read this guy’s perspective of dating a financially independent woman, I couldn’t help but smile and think about the song of inspiration. “She don’t look at me like, captain save ’em, gold diggin’, no, she don’t do that. Now she lookin’ at me like inspiration, she wanna be complimentin’ my swag.” Finally, a man’s perspective!
Too often I come across articles talking about guys who feel threatened by a woman who is financially independent. A boy worries he may lose the woman in his life because she doesn’t need to rely on him. A boy is scared for he realizes a financially independent woman has options. Why does he fear a woman with options? My take: a woman choosing to be with a guy can also chose not to be with the guy. A boy is scared because he knows she “don’t expect nothin’ from no guy”. A man, on the other hand, is secure. A man appreciates a financially independent woman and recognizes the woman as his partner. A man knows “there ain’t nothin’ that’s more sexy, than a girl that want, but don’t need” him.
Now, I know there are gals who act like girls. Girls get a little money in the pocketbook and are fooled into thinking money is an excuse to have a trifling attitude. Girls often throw their financial independence in the guys face, not realizing a man brings more to a relationship than good looks and a check book. I am certainly not talking about them! And I know for darn sure, Ne-Yo and Jamie are not sanging (yes I know that is not the correct word) about them. The grown and sexy men and women out there are the inspiration to the song and my post. But take my word, read the below article and tell me if you agree.
Not Every Man Has a Problem Riding Shotgun For a Successful Woman
by Dr. J on Wednesday November 3rd 2010
Written by Dr. J
I have dated women who made more money than me, had more possessions than me, and who were more popular than me. To be honest, my recommendation to men is to stop complaining about having to pay for everything all the time. Date a woman who makes more money than you and the problem with be solved–partially. But, the vast majority of men have reservations about dating women who make more money or who are more successful. Now, some women won’t date a guy who makes less money than them, not because they are gold diggers, but because they just don’t want any drama.
In my personal experiences, it has always taken some getting used to. But, I’ve been blessed to have dated the right kind of successful women. It’s impossible to date a woman who is constantly bragging about how much money she makes or about her career. But, it is very comfortable to date a woman who says to you, “It’s quite illogical for you to pick up the tab each time. I got it. Don’t worry about it.” You have to make sure that both people are able to be mature adults. So, instead of paying for the entire vacation myself, we would split it. Or for an expensive meal that would normally run me $150-175, we would alternate who picked up the tab. Personally, my favorite part was the car situation. She drove at times, and I drove at times. And she was never worried about gas money. For a while, I swore I would never date a chick who didn’t have a car.
I won’t share my personal experience out of respect for this woman, but I’ve dated a woman who was in the limelight before. Let’s just say Beyonce’ didn’t write that song “Ego” about me. It’s perfectly okay for men to check their ego at the door and let the woman be the star. As a man, you’ve got to have the confidence to know that she’s coming home with you, and that she could be with anyone, but she chooses to be with you. You can hope that she doesn’t exclude you from her life or become too busy for you. A lot of women confuse things easily when it comes to the difference between being busy and being too busy for their man. If your man complains that you never have time for him, you may not be making him a priority. He’s not just hating on your success.
Let me say this clearly, “Screw people’s opinion of your relationship.” I don’t like to use this word often, but anyone with something negative to say about your happiness is a hater! (Wow, that’s the best definition to date.) Other people will look at the relationship and think that she wears the pants of the relationship. I don’t care who wears the pants in my relationship, and I don’t know what that really means, anyway. People may perceive that you have no power in your relationship or that she could do better. Like I said before, screw those people. I couldn’t let it get to me. As a man, I’m happy in my relationship and don’t really care what anyone else has to say about it.
At the end of the day the only people who matter in your relationship are the people in your relationship. And individually in that relationship you have to be confident and comfortable with who you are and what you bring to the table. When I found out a couple years back that Keri Hilson had a boyfriend, I thought to myself, “Man, that sucks. Did y’all see that video with Kanye?!” Then it dawned on me, “Yeah, she was acting, but her boyfriend gets the real deal.” In my daily travels, when I see a dude with a woman who makes more money than him, I want to give him a hi-five or a chest bump. It’s obvious he’s doing something right, and that man has swag.