“Has he managed to turn you from a woman of substance into… a brick flying, calling too damn much, crying … and spying woman?” With the insight of a psychic, Jill Scott sings about insomnia induced by her lover’s inaction to consider her feelings and treat her with respect. Like some women, Jill is singing about being home, laying in bed and wishing up a storm. She is wishing for her man to come back home. She then wishes that he would call and say he missed her. It gets to the point where Jill settles and is just wishing for him to call and say hi. Jill wishes until she wished the night away. Now she is not only miserable but she is physically drained and forced to go to work. How many of us can relate, whether through personal experience or a friend’s experience?
Jill Scott’s question reminded me of discussions I had with my girlfriends. These discussions usually came after we spent too much time analyzing episodes of Sex and the City, Girlfriends or The Game. The typical episode that would send us into frenzy would involve a female character acting in a manner she knew was inappropriate or pathetic but she did it anyway. Why? Because her lover, the one who should be making her happy, the one she holds in high esteem, hurt her ever so deep. She is on a downward spiral because the “he” in their lives hurt them bad. One memorable episode that got our group discussion going is the episode of The Game where Melanie crawls into bed with Malik just to spite her ex. [Sidenote: I am so happy that new episodes are returning in January on BET. Make sure you stay tuned!] (more…)